In 2009, I had the fortunate opportunity to go on the school trip of a lifetime.
In just
In just
two
short
weeks,
we would visit Italy, France, and Holland.
Just as any seventeen year old would be, I was absolutely psyched.
However, I was still in high school, and it was an intimidating
thought that out of the thirty people going on the trip, I only
knew three or four. Most of the students were seniors, a
year older than I was at the time, and I couldn’t help
but w o n d e r if they would like me.
Boarding the plane, I was equally as
excited as I was nervous.
Within the first two days, my mind was
at ease.
Everyone got along well, and I began
to make some awesome friends.
Everyone got along well, and I began
to make some awesome friends.
Over the next two weeks,
I would walk around with different
people each day. We were all so comfortable
around each other. We would sing on the subways,
take goofy pictures together, make up funny dance routines,
and talk for hours on end.
I would walk around with different
people each day. We were all so comfortable
around each other. We would sing on the subways,
take goofy pictures together, make up funny dance routines,
and talk for hours on end.
I honestly had no idea
how much fun I could have
with people that were ultimately
strangers to me a week prior.
how much fun I could have
with people that were ultimately
strangers to me a week prior.
Our last stop was France,
and although it was the one place
I was the most excited about the entire time--
once we got there I couldn’t help but get choked up.
and although it was the one place
I was the most excited about the entire time--
once we got there I couldn’t help but get choked up.
The countries, historical landmarks,
and museums were all
so amazing, but I realized it was never about that. I had truly
bonded with these people, and I was fearful for it all to come to an end.
so amazing, but I realized it was never about that. I had truly
bonded with these people, and I was fearful for it all to come to an end.
Once we were back in school, my fears
were put to rest yet again.
Although the trip could only be replayed
in the form of memories and photos;
our journey together was
something that could
never be erased.
in the form of memories and photos;
our journey together was
something that could
I really was so interested in everything about your blog. The colors for each country the staircase letters, the spaced between words, and all that formed the syntax component of your work was so great and seemed so effortless and fitting for your blog. The picture you chose gave your work that extra blast of color and weird angle that went along with all the other quirky syntax you incorporated into your blog. A great part where I really felt was so cool was your separation of the words “In two short weeks.” It perfectly exhibited the shortness of your weeks by kind of giving those words some kind of character and liveliness through personification. The separation of your use of “w o n d e r” really let my mind wonder as a reader and I slowed down, as I am sure you as the writer wanted the reader to slow down. The emphasis on words such as “comfortable,” strangers,” “choked up,” and that one phrase “I realized it was never about that,” confused me a little because I at first was not quite sure your chose those specific words and phrases to put emphasis on, but when I went back a second time to reread your work, I understood that those were the feelings and the important (bolded and italicized) lessons that you wanted the reader to learn along side with you. A little clarification or some other usage of those words would help the reader understand that area you wanted them to feel a little more. It’s a play on pathos, and using pathos requires practice, because it can either deter your audience from your original goal with those specific phrases and sentences, or it can really call your audience to be moved. Take a look deeper into the art of rhetoric and the use of pathos and that might be able to help you set the proper scene for your audience the first time with the form of your text.
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